Sunday, July 02, 2006

20,000 feet under Hacknor

"Ladies and Gents,

How are doing today. I am your tour guide for this wonderful go around the planet Hacknor. My name is Henchman, I have killed over 30 people and given two sight seeing tours. My accomplice...Err, I mean assistant Brak."

Brak: "Hi everybody. I'm Brak and I am wearing clean underwear."

"Great. Thanks Brak, any newlyweds in here?"

*A couple making out raise their hands*

"Ok, good...yes Ma' there a problem?"

"I trying to get off since the last bus tour...But, my Mortie has been turned into stone." The old bat tells me.

"Did he look at a Gorgon, during the Gulf of Gorgons part of the trip?" I inquire.

"Yes..." She says

"Was he told not to look at them." I ask

"Yy..yes" she answers back.

"Fine,I am leaving him right where he is as a lesson to everybody else." I declare.

"Listen folks, since we have a repeat couple. I will take you all...


*The whole group freaks and runs to the back of the bus. The Newlyweds don't notice what just happened and contiune to make out.*

"Hey, hey..HEY...I was joking people. Due to my LGS contract I can not take anyone hostage until the show is: A; over. and B; low on ratings."

"I will how ever taking you to the the Fire Caves of Hacknor."

"In these caves many amazing battles came to fruit."

"Like the one with the puppy and the 20 ft. build a bear?"


"Or like the one with Clammy and Hulk Hogan.." Brak pesters.

"No, Brak." I firmly reply.

"Oooo...How about the..."

"Brak. Shut up."I yell

"Sorry boss."

"Good, thank you. If you look to your left you will see a Dragon fighting a few Fire trolls."

"It is getting a little hectic over there so we will cut that part of the tour short."

"Unfortunately, people. We have travel through one of the seediest locales of Hacknor. The island of Forgotten sidekicks."

"Hey losers. Yes, you all on the tour bus. Give us money." Ignignot hollers.

"Yeah. you frickin losers." Err adds.

*I instruct the driver to go faster, until we pass them.Leaving them to choke on the exhaust.

As we hit the next light. I hear..*

"You. Yes, you captain make out. You still owe me for our little experiment." Stewie belows at the groom.

"Hey, where's my money man. I want my money. Where is it?" Stewie makes a run for the bus.

*The groom jumps to the front of the bus and steps on the gas.Speeding us through the rest of the tour. Later, I saw the "happy couple."*

Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.


Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I would have thought Deadpool had flushed Ingot and whoever down the toilet. I'm surprised to see them still alive. And a little disappointed really. Those two were annoying.

Sunday, July 02, 2006 7:44:00 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

And now you know why I left Stewie on Hacknor,

Sunday, July 02, 2006 8:57:00 PM  
Blogger Randy said...

Yo dog, that was the stuff.

Congratualtions, you're going to Hollywooooooooooooood!

(As in the 7-11 at Hollywood and Vine. Can you pick me up a Grape Slurpee while you're there?"

Monday, July 03, 2006 9:50:00 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think you've been the tour guide on some of the trips I've been on.

Monday, July 03, 2006 12:23:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Dang that Mrs. Burkett! She keeps thinking were going to turn Mortie back to flesh. But I told her, If you want to find a "stone to flesh" potion or spell, get your old wrinkled @ss over to a D&D blog and get off ours. .... Uhh I meant D&D planet, not Blog. (whew that was close.)

Monday, July 03, 2006 4:30:00 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Say what you want. At the end of the tour people were just handing me their cash.Oh Professor you won the bid for that Lightsaber crystal. Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 5:51:00 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

I plan to avoid the gorgon route altogether. A romp through the garment district is more than sufficient.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006 2:22:00 PM  

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