Monday, May 15, 2006

Challenge One: Picard Versus Droid

The bell goes, and the rusty doors open; standards are dreadful here.

I march into the centre and see a droid; it looks like a reject that the Borg might have thrown away. If it says "Resistance is Futile", then I'll know.

It's most unfortunate that we couldn't have one luxury item. Mine would have been a phaser set to 'kill'. It would have made short work of the droid.

While I am thinking this, the droid is advacing nearer; the other members of my team of cheering away. Gaia and Magdalena are acting as cheerleaders and shouting "Come on Picard!"

I even see my friend Padme Amidala's lips moving to the words. She can't really cheer as she is on the opposing side. Professor Xavier is looking very pleased with himself as he has done his bit.

Then I remember the Kung Fu classes I took with Lieutenant Worf on the Enterprise. This might be useful here.

As the droid is almost upon me, I adopt the traditional Kung Fu posture.

"Hai-yah!!!" I shout and kick the droid; he falls on the floor, staggered, but gradually gets up. I'll have to be firmer next time, as Jon mentioned, they learn all the time.

The droid now adopts the Kung Fu posture; we are two warriors fighting to the death.

"Hai-yah!" It kicks out at me, but I sharply move to the right, and hit him quickly, followed by a swift kick, then another. It's sensors are knocked out; it staggers around like a cowboy that has just been shot, then falls on the floor. The droid is defeated.

It's victory! Gaia and Magdelena are cheering and shouting "Picard wins, Picard wins!"

The rest of the team pat me on the back.

"It's looking good!" says the Henchman.

Professor Xavier is looking rather glum.

I'll have to get Lieutenant Worf and extra bottle of Klingon Bloodwine.

16 Comments:

Blogger Magdalena said...

good job Captian

Monday, May 15, 2006 3:17:00 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Excuse me, rusty doors equal ambience. Thank you.

Monday, May 15, 2006 3:25:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

No, no, I'm actually quite impressed with your victory. Really. I am.

I have to admit though I felt a pang of jealousy seeing Gaia and Maggie being cheerleaders for you.

Monday, May 15, 2006 3:34:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

You used Kung Fu, that was taught to you by a Klingon. I think you have been dipping into the 'Picard" homebrew once to often. Dude, your a talker not a fighter.

Monday, May 15, 2006 3:47:00 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Well, that wasn't good and it wasn't bad, it was average, which would make most people happy. But Captain, you are hardly an average man. I expected something a bit more high tech than Kung Fu, but a minimalist approach has its values, I suppose. Congrats on winning, though.

And yes, the rusty doors are a tetanus shot waiting to happen.

Monday, May 15, 2006 4:48:00 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear sir,

Way to go.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Monday, May 15, 2006 7:54:00 PM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer said...

I knew you had it in you!

Well, not really. I heard second-hand that you had it in you. But it's still pretty magical.

*waves hands*

SHAZAM!

Monday, May 15, 2006 8:48:00 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Captian Marvel Why are you here?

Monday, May 15, 2006 11:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Captian Marvel said...

I don't know!

Monday, May 15, 2006 11:53:00 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

That was a bit mean, Simon!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006 2:24:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Well, he is British.

j/k!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006 6:50:00 PM  
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 5:35:00 PM  
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 5:47:00 PM  
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 6:27:00 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Bravo Jean-Luc!! Er- I mean, our team is still going to win!

Thursday, May 18, 2006 7:57:00 AM  

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