Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Call to Duty

Ring ring….


Yeah this is J.J.

Yeah, the same Mr. Jawajuice that’s the “Special” spiced brownie entrepreneur.

Yes, the same jawa who hosted the Survivor: Tatooine reality show and participated in the Big Brother: Naboo reality show.

…Yup. That’s me. So what do you want? I’m a busy jawa. The girls will be over in an- um…I’m a busy jawa. Who is this?

You’re Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator’s personal secretary? He needs a personal secretary? For what? ….even I don’t have a personal secretary. What? No, that’s my I-SUC droid. He’s not…nevermind. What did you want?


You want me to be on Jon’s new reality game show –Last Gladiator Standing? Another game show? Look, I already hosted one and participated in another. There’s nothing left for me to do.

Judge? What do you mean judge? There’s going to be a permanent panel of three judges overseeing the challenges and you want me to be one of them? Well, I’m flattered but like I said my time is really kind of limited these days. Not like the time I did the other game shows.

…uh hu…

I would just have to observe everyone’s challenges during the week and make my judgment of who gets immunity at the end of the week? Say….Saturday morning? Well…that doesn’t sound like it would take too much out of my time away. Do I get my own dressing room and a box of fresh cigars? That's good. Oh, and I can drink on the job, right? Oh, that's very good!

So whose gonna be on this thing?

Clone TK-266? Eferia Apoc? Aayla Secura? Yeah, I’ve heard of them. All good people. What? …Padmé? Well…you better lock up the liquor cabinet. So, who else? Other people for the farthest reaches of the galaxy eh? Jean-Luc Picard? Yeah, I think we were in a blowing league one year. Gyrobo? A clown robot? And his name is Gyrobo? Not Jar Jar? Okay whatever. Who else?

Hold it…hold it. Slow down. What are all these names you’re throwing at me? Deadpool, Gaia, Magdalena, Vegeta, Morpheus, Local henchmen 432…who are they? What do you mean why haven’t I heard of them? Do they owe me money?

…hmmmm…do they owe me monny?

Flips through rolodex of outstanding debts

Hmmmm…nope. Not a one. Well, that’s good. I think that would be a serious conflict of interest if they did. Who else?

Oh, and Professor Xavier? Sure I know him. We’ve played chess a few times. He always wins though. At least….I seem to think he always wins…hmmmm…

So is that it? Well, I guess it sounds fine.

No, I can assure you there won’t be any favorites with me. I can tell you now that as a judge I’m gonna be as hard as Simon. Ooooo…he’s a judge too? This is gonna be fun!

Just tell the contestants that I will be judging on their creativity, their humor, their ingenuity to complete tasks and the ease of which they are able to sneak bribes into my dressing room with out anyone noticing…oh…and amount of bribe too.

…what? No bribes? Well I ain’t doing this for free. My time is valuable. I got a huge brownie empire to over look. I can’t waste my time….

-How much?

...The Studio is paying me this?


….that many zero’s?

…a week?

Well, of course I will. Why didn’t you say so in the first place, Mr. Jon’s personal secretary?

…what do you mean it would be game over? …Hudson?



Blogger Magdalena said...

HI JJ welcome as a Judge

Monday, May 15, 2006 2:06:00 AM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

psst did you happen to bring any brownies

Monday, May 15, 2006 2:06:00 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Didn't you know that Jawas are immune to my telepathic powers? Yeah, that's the ticket. Don't give it another thought.

Monday, May 15, 2006 4:44:00 AM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Dear sir,

I got a fever and the only thing, that, can cure it is more brownies.D.F.A.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Monday, May 15, 2006 7:52:00 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Hey JJ, my buddy ol' pal, friend of friends, guy whose life I saved (you were high on spice, that’s why you can't remember) how you doing. I don't want to influence your judging but I do have that picture of you and the dewback from when you were just a teenage jawa.

Monday, May 15, 2006 12:00:00 PM  
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