Monday, May 22, 2006

The Second Challenge

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

The doorbell to the barracks rings.

Captain Picard: Was that a doorbell?

Senator Amidala: I guess I'll get it.

AOC: Why would barracks have a doorbell?

Padme goes to answer the doorbell and discovers that no one is there, just 12 maps scrolled up. By now, everyone is in the foyer and Jon's image appears on the viewscreen located there.

Jon: Good afternoon, gladiators. This is a map of our general location here on Hacknor. Your Challenge will be to race hovercycles following a course that I will lay out for you.

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First, fly North through the Coral Reef of Madness. Peril awaits you there because that is the home of many dangerous creatures like dragon eels, flying piranha, and electric flounder. You can tell they're flounder 'cuz they'll be looking at you sideways! Ha ha!

(Jon's joke is met with 12 silent contestants).

Jon: OK, from there continue North to Fire Island Omega and the Lagoon of Danger. What awaits you there? I don't know, but I'll bet it's dangerous!

Head West through the Gulf of Gorgons to Fire Island V. When you get there, you will need to negotiate through the canyons and past the cliffs to the other side. After that you will head South to Fire Island V2 to negotiate the Deadly Water Slide o' Fun and then meet the most horrifying obstacle imaginable -- The Old Gladiator's Home. You will need to avoid a legion of retired combatants who want to tackle you and tell you about the good ol' days.

From there, continue south to Fire Island 12 and the Lava Pools En Fuego. fire Island 12 also contains the Haunted Observatory of Mystery, you will need to fly through there and head East back to the landing strip on Fire Island D.

First one to reach the finish line will win immunity for his or her team. Also, our judges will award one additional immunity to a player of their choosing based on criteria of their own. Any questions?

Vegeta: Bah, I could travel faster without the cycle. Do I need to use it?

Jon: Yes. You must be on your cycle during the race and when you cross the finish line. Using your powers would not be fair to the non-powered combatants. No flying, hovering, teleporting, or warping on your own.

(Certain contestants grumble).

Magdalena: Who drew this map? it looks like some little kid did it or something.

Deadpool: I know crazy, and the man who made this is definitely a candidate for the loony bin.

Captain Picard: In the 24th Century, we have many techniques for diagnosing and treating mental illness. Perhaps Dr. Crusher could come here and help the creator of this map.

Hudson (from off camera): Never you mind who drew the map!

Jon: OK, enough about the shoddy work on the map, are there any more questions?

Aayla: When do we begin?

Jon: On my mark... Ready. Set. Go!

Twelve contestants scramble out of the barracks and head towards their hovercycles.

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Blogger Professor Xavier said...

That map is really . . well . . res ipsa loquitur, if you know what I mean.

Monday, May 22, 2006 9:04:00 PM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

I said never you mind about the map!

Monday, May 22, 2006 9:07:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

The map isn't what I'd be worried about. Those speeder bikes, well, they look very wee/tiny.
Good luck

Monday, May 22, 2006 9:16:00 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Ladies and Gents,

This one is going to be hard.I am going to use Huson credits to buy a bike.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Monday, May 22, 2006 9:39:00 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

That's why me and I suppose Henchman used our on bikes.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 3:02:00 AM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

Oh know we have to use a Map??? a paper map

your kidding right (sweats)

why do we have to use paper maps...

why are there maps why not a guide or an electronic map

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 8:33:00 AM  

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