Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Gross me out? No way.

This was Jon's plan. See who had the most willpower, and see who could eat the most. Thankfully, I had the metabolism of a teenager, and could pack down so much food, that would make a big man throw up, just watching me.

As for the sick and wrong food choices? I've eaten worse. This guy is a chef, he was preparing them, even if it was disgusting combinations, it certainly beats eating bantha intestines raw, and sucking on bee butts.

The first bit, was the baked pickrat. Rat meat was tough, and tasted very bitter, plankton was sickly salty, and as a sauce, I can only imagine a little crunchy, when it came out, it I smiled, I dug in. They had left its intestines in and all.

Steady Erifia, deep breath Erifia.

I began to eat it. Together, they were even more miserable then they were apart. But, it was not bad at all... On tatooine once, someone I was spying on tried serving Bantha crap as a delicasy, and I had to eat it. It doesn't get much worse than that.

The choclate asparagus came out, and the horseradish sauce... I gagged... Sweet and nasty... I had to keep it all down... I had to...

I bit into it, I was surprised, it was actually good. I began to eat more and more. The whole plate was gone.

"Mmis mwas mreal mooood."

Cicada shells, like the ones who make noise on the trees on Naboo... They looked like they were filled with peanut butter anways. Honestly, the shells wouldn't taste like much, and the butterscotch would be amazing. I bit into it, and the sweet butterscotch filled my mouth, I smiled. Amazing... Simply amazing...

"This is one of the best desserts I've ever had, Jon. You're very good at picking out dishes."

He then set a cup of mustard tea in front of me, I drank it, and well, it was the worst thing... I wanted to throw up, I took a deep breath, mind over matter... Mind over matter.

"Anything else?"

"You've got to order from the menu."

I looked at the menu, live snake, chilled monkey brains, soup of slave eyes...

"Ooo! That, right there!!!"

He brought it out immeadiatly. It was a plate of live meal worms, covered in coagulated deer blood.

I smiled evily... I looked at the other contestants, and I enjoyed every single bite.

I ate steaks cooked Mos Eisley ((Earth = Pittsburgh style, only slightly sizzled on the outside)) style. Blood everywhere. And Mealworms tasted like buttermilk. I even chewed a little, and showed the others my mouth with the festering bite inside.

I ate it, enjoyed it, and after I was done, I grabbed a cockroach off the bar, and ate it like a dinner mint.

"That was good... So, what's for dessert?"

Starkey had a tear in his eye, "You like?"

"Very much soo, you got anything along the lines of something sweet?"

"Bee insides, broiled in Borg Honey."

"Sounds good."

"I also got Candied Voorpoks."

"I'll take them both. Thanks..."

He had them sent out, and I ate them, they were really good, allbeit the Voorpak were a little hairy... I burped, and my toxic breath melted the plate and silverware.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go lay down after such a good meal,"

Hugs and (you don't want to have my) kisses,
Erifia Apoc


Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Bee butts? That sounds rather painful.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 4:00:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Unfair! you got to eat all the good stuff, not at all like the cr@p Starkey and that annoying waiter fed me.

Got any left over maggots? Ican't seem to get this Kay-Purr taste out of my mouth.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 4:13:00 PM  
Blogger Randy said...

Yo dog, that was too much! You're gonna go far in this competition, I can feel it.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 5:57:00 PM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

well done

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 6:45:00 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Wow, you have a cast iron stomach.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 10:30:00 PM  

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