Thursday, May 18, 2006

Padme: Been There, Done That

So I’m, like, sitting in the stands watching the other contestants take their turn at this challenge. I don’t have superpowers, but I’ve got a lot of experience fighting droids.

I flash back to the Battle of Geonosis. It was just a few short months ago, but it seems like an eternity. Of course, I had a blaster and several Jedi with lightsabers to help me fight off the droids during that battle. No, this time would be quite different. More of a mental challenge.

I remembered some tricks that got me through that battle. Before I stepped into the arena, I checked my purse for anything I could stash on my person. Anything that would help me kick droid butt… and fast. Hairpins, lipstick, a travel-size hairspray, dental floss.

I entered the arena, half-expecting to hear cheers of “Pad-me, Pad-me, Pad-me.” But then I remembered that no one really knows me on this world. It was all at once comforting and disheartening. As the droid came at me, my thoughts turned to Anakin.

I imagined that the droid was Count Dooku. Evil through and through. The one who, like, cut off my beloved’s arm. My heart raced and I charged at the droid, jumping into the air and landing a swift kick to its chest.

The crowd cheered.

The droid stumbled, but kept its mechanical advance toward me. A roundhouse kick to the shoulder hit one sensor. The droid retaliated and knocked me back.

“Ooooooo,” the crowd hissed. I could see my team cheering me on as I got up quickly to land another kick near the droid’s hip area. No sensor there. Time to pull out the big guns.

I whipped out my lipstick, kicked the droid down and quickly smeared the lipstick on his viewing sensors before he could get back up. I jumped up to avoid him, then came around his back and blasted him with hairspray. The mist locked up his right arm momentarily.

Just enough time for me to slam the last two sensors. Game over.

17 Comments:

Blogger Private Hudson said...

Game over? You cribbin' my lines? Sweet. Maybe we could get together sometime and discuss just how over the game is.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 9:21:00 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Hudson, will that, like, get me ahead in the game? Points with the judges?

Thursday, May 18, 2006 11:15:00 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

You did really well, Padme. An excellent victory.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 11:54:00 AM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Good idea with the hairspray. Only problem is, I don't have hair.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I was cheering Pad-Me.

But Simon kept shushing me saying it was ruining his ability to imagine you in a Hutt Slave girl outfit.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 1:03:00 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Good job, Padme.

There isn't Lekuu spray is there, Erifa?

Also, we just got splogged, so I turned on word verification. I really didn't want to do it, but they made me. They made me.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 1:04:00 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Victory is life!

Thursday, May 18, 2006 1:06:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Now that is resourceful - using all your little girly things to beat the robot. You must have been a girl scout.

Down with Splogg!

Thursday, May 18, 2006 1:59:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I love splogg. i'll have the splogg, splogg, splogg, splogg, splogg, splogg, splogg, splogg, splogg, splogg, baked beans nad splogg.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 2:26:00 PM  
Blogger Jaina Solo said...

Nice, I was wondering how you would do this. You rose to the occasion spectacularly.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 3:00:00 PM  
Blogger Jabafatboy said...

Clone. Simon isnt imagining. He ordered two slave girl outfits yesterday.

Wonder who the second one is for?

Thursday, May 18, 2006 5:30:00 PM  
Blogger Majin Buu said...

No Simon Buu will not wear outfit!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 18, 2006 5:42:00 PM  
Blogger Majin Buu said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 5:43:00 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Afraid not.

Thursday, May 18, 2006 7:07:00 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Well, it was very distracting, AOC. The white battle outfit was lovely, though.

That was a very clever use of beauty products. I had guessed your plan of attack as running around screaming until all the sensors in the robot shattered. This was a much better method. Well done

Friday, May 19, 2006 12:48:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

*sniff sniff* Simon never said anything aobut my 'white battle outfit".

*walks away with shoulders slumped*

Friday, May 19, 2006 1:06:00 PM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

well done Padmé

AOC I love your white armour

Friday, May 19, 2006 2:49:00 PM  

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