Padme: Been There, Done That

So I’m, like, sitting in the stands watching the other contestants take their turn at this challenge. I don’t have superpowers, but I’ve got a lot of experience fighting droids.

I flash back to the Battle of Geonosis. It was just a few short months ago, but it seems like an eternity. Of course, I had a blaster and several Jedi with lightsabers to help me fight off the droids during that battle. No, this time would be quite different. More of a mental challenge.

I remembered some tricks that got me through that battle. Before I stepped into the arena, I checked my purse for anything I could stash on my person. Anything that would help me kick droid butt… and fast. Hairpins, lipstick, a travel-size hairspray, dental floss.

I entered the arena, half-expecting to hear cheers of “Pad-me, Pad-me, Pad-me.” But then I remembered that no one really knows me on this world. It was all at once comforting and disheartening. As the droid came at me, my thoughts turned to Anakin.

I imagined that the droid was Count Dooku. Evil through and through. The one who, like, cut off my beloved’s arm. My heart raced and I charged at the droid, jumping into the air and landing a swift kick to its chest.

The crowd cheered.

The droid stumbled, but kept its mechanical advance toward me. A roundhouse kick to the shoulder hit one sensor. The droid retaliated and knocked me back.

“Ooooooo,” the crowd hissed. I could see my team cheering me on as I got up quickly to land another kick near the droid’s hip area. No sensor there. Time to pull out the big guns.

I whipped out my lipstick, kicked the droid down and quickly smeared the lipstick on his viewing sensors before he could get back up. I jumped up to avoid him, then came around his back and blasted him with hairspray. The mist locked up his right arm momentarily.

Just enough time for me to slam the last two sensors. Game over.