Tuesday, May 30, 2006

You are what you eat

Jon looked with an evil grin, "Are we hungry."

"I don't know what are we having?" Yup, I had to ask…

Our third challenge was an eating contest…
Jon smiled broaden: I doubt it; let me introduce to you the chef for this contest. Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm.

The Chef smiled with pride: Hello, wonderful contestants! I have prepared many delicious foods that will be your soon-to-be favorites! You will love the baked pickrat in plankton sauce, chocolate asparagus in horseradish dressing, and the butterscotch-filled cicada shells! How much fun you will have enjoying my specialties! This is just to name a few… Now you get to choose from the buffet table… However you must eat a 4-course meal. So make sure you take the right amount. Once you pick something up you have to take it."

"A four course?" I heard Deadpool ask.

"Yes, appetizer, soup or salad, main dish and desert." I said tragically. Of course I knew because I had to attend débutante classes. I even had to try some bizarre foods from fried tarantulas in Thailand to boiled eels in Turkey


Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm .smiled again, "We also have prepared a variety of beverages."

I began thinking about my débutante courses on how a lady should act at a table and how she is to be proper and not show her disgust with certain foods. However looking at the spread I was wondering how I was going to pull this challenge off.

I decided not to wait to long or the others may grab up the least disgusting of the dishes. I searched for what didn’t look so bad…

First appetizer with an aperitif…

I looked at the plate of roasted … well it was some sort of bug. I passed it up…


"Aww here this actually looks good" I thought as I picked up something

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm chuckled, "You will love those they are boiled pickrat testicles, wrapped in pasta."

He had to tell me didn’t he…
I reached for the aperitif , it was on fire…

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm stood proudly, "Fermented urine of the grak."

I set it on my table and walked back to get my salad or soup…

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm motioned to me, "Here try this bane maggot salad, great for stamina," he whispered, "Especially in bed."

I smiled, "It looks…. Great but I think I will pass and have a soup."

I dipped the soup out, "Ummm there are roaches and flies in this soup."

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm smiled, "Of course you going to be Gladiators you need protein."

I went and set it on my table and returned for the main dish.. I could see I was going to have a problem already I was loosing my appetite
I looked something that didn’t look to bad as I was reaching AOC walked up to me.

AOC looked at me, "Boy I knew you were tough but wow."

I looked at him, "What do you mean."

"That is some kind of animal brains with another animals salvia as sauce." AOC said

"If you are trying to make me end up disqualified it won't work." I said taking the plate


I returned to my table set the plate down and walking over to get my desert

Finally I made my choice.
Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm said they were not what they looked like so I hope they are not too gross.

I sat and looked at everyone, they had already started… I saw some eating their appetizers and decided not to look at them…

Just then it hit me… "Fred, " I whispered

Fred ran away saying "not on your life."

I then remembered the one Nun.

When we had to take medicine she would do something to make it better… What was that song she would sing…

In ev'ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job's a game


And ev'ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way


So I reached for the sugar and sprinkled some on… I said a prayer boy did I say a prayer and I picked up the appropriate fork…

After my desert I smiled as I looked around finished off my coffee that tasted like some monkey ate the coffee bean first. I think Lt. Cmd Onieda mention this coffee once.

I then took my napkin and dabbed my mouth. I rose and bowed at Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm.

"Lovely meal, if you will all excuse me now." I said
Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm bowed to me, "Funny you were the only one to eat the Kuda brains in pigor salvia."
I smiled as I looked at AOC. He shrugged, "I tried to warn you."
I then casually walked away…
Once I was out of sight I ran to the bathroom and well I am glad the next challenge isn't for another week.

Oh god I will never complain about the nun's cooking again.

9 Comments:

Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Sugar. Clever. I'd not have thought of it.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 3:40:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

"Kuda brains in pigor salvia." Man some people have all the luck. I didn't get any thing good. Be thankful you didn't have to eat any of the rizzberries (or something like that). Talk about eating gross stuff. You did save soem for me didn't you?

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 4:23:00 PM  
Blogger Randy said...

Yo dog, that gave me chills! The way you sang that song was off the hook. That was sweeeeeet.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 5:31:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Wasn't too pitchy, dawg?

The sugar was an excellent idea, Maggie. Well done. I don't know about a spoonful though. That would stuff would take pounds.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 6:03:00 PM  
Blogger Deadpool said...

Those pictures just got me even hungryier! I wish I could eat like this every day!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 6:18:00 PM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

thanks erifia


and here I thought you were trying to gross me out AOC

thanks randy

yes I think I used a pound or two charles


deadpool after this perhaps you shold go back to the place you escaped from... you know the one with the men in the white jackets ;)

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 6:50:00 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Way to go.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 10:34:00 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

What do you mean She was the only that ate that I loved it!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 11:32:00 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Debutante classes? I would have never guessed from your manners and style of dress.

Excellent use of sugar, terrible abuse of song. But if the desire ever strikes you, I do a singing show that loves to humiliate people with your singing talents, we'd love to see you stop by and make a few ears bleed.

Friday, June 02, 2006 1:56:00 AM  

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