Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Simon: Judgment

Well, since this is ‘make Fluke laugh’, I figured you all would sink an even lower level than I’d seen previously. The drivel you produced proved my suspicions true.

Xavier: weak attempt, a cow knock knock joke?

Henchman: That’s it? That’s all you had?

A.O.C: There are many elements to humor such as content, delivery, a good punch line. Perhaps you should try some of those elements. Your jokes sucked so impressively that there is a line of women on 42nd St who want lessons.

Vegeta: How droll, women’s clothing. That’s only funny to frat boys, and usually it’s only funny because they are sauced beyond comprehension.

Erifia: Usually imagining you in something less than your dancer outfit tides me happily past anything you might say or do, and with your lush assistant, it almost worked. Yours is not a sharp wit.

Maggie: Puerile.

Aayla: That wasn’t Fluke laughing you heard, it was him trying not to choke on his vomit; your song was that bad. It seems you can neither do drama or comedy with any skill. Perhaps you should retire to a cave and spare us all your public displays.

Gyrobo: For once I actually understood what you said and managed to pay attention through the whole thing. Not bad, actually, it was almost good

Picard: Not bad, not good, but not bad. Might I recommend some powder for your head, you’ve blinded several of our camera crew and it’s hard to find replacements on this Force forsaken planet.

Well, there you have it. Fluke will make his choice with no influence from me, which is good; it’s a waste of my time to argue with a man whose sense of humor lies almost entirely in the realm of fart jokes.

19 Comments:

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

So let me get this right, there is a line of women wanting lesson from me? Rock on!! (Now I just need to talk to Hudson to know what to teach them, cuz he is quite the ladies man … He is, he keeps telling so)

And when did fart joke become so lowbrow in the minds of anything coming from the Faux Holostations.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:09:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:19:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Damm typos! Tak, umm, well, you might want to hose those women down first. And I get the impression that they want lessons in only one fairly obvious thing.

Please take a dip in the bacta tank when you get back from the show.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:21:00 PM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

LOL Cmd ROFL

and I cant wait for confession the Father will be dropping his bible for sure

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:27:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:38:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Lt. Cmdr: I think you maybe right. Hudson said those women are worse than a Twi'lek Dancer at a B.A.R.Cer bar.

Hudson did say that Owen Lars, Lee and Simon use them a lot. A very good sign for me to stay away.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:39:00 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Have I just been insulted and asked to wear a hairpiece.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:47:00 PM  
Blogger flu said...

Hey Simon: Pull my finger.

teehee

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 2:40:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Welcome to the club Captain. I haven't been harranged this bad since the time my first wife caught me leaving the toilet seat up.

*shudder*

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:25:00 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:49:00 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Bah! This coming from a man who runs around here wearing a girl scout uniform

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:54:00 PM  
Blogger Private Hudson said...

That's not a girl scout uniform, Vegeta, that's an admiral's. A rear admiral.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:12:00 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

....

I may work for the Faux Network, AOC, but they do not own my soul. I refuse to lower myself to their particular form of 'humour'

And Captain, no hair piece needed, just a bit of powder on that shiney noggin of yours should do the trick.

Oh, and, I don't need the women on 42nd St. While you all may be here for free, I am not; I get paid mind boggling amounts of credits to be here. That, and I have fame on my side. It allows complete pricks such as myself to bed ladies who should know better. An example would be the lovely aqua haired creature in the bunny suit that has been around the set. Fame also allows men like Fluke to get their grabby hands all over the backsides of girls like Erifia.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:41:00 PM  
Blogger Bulma said...

You Wish Simon! Me slapping you after you showed me your "gun" may foreplay on the planet you come from but not where I come from buddy!

Oh yeah that's the tiniest "gun" I've seen in some time.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 7:08:00 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Fair judgement sir, I will agree, Becca didn't catch me at my wittiest time. You are wise and all knowing, m'Lord Simon.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 9:03:00 PM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer said...

Fart jokes are never lowbrow when Steven Hawking tells them.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:07:00 PM  
Blogger Mirai Trunks said...

Quuit making up lies about my Mother Simon!!!!!!I'm goin to reaaraange your Face!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:01:00 AM  
Blogger Son Goku said...

Miari calm down!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:02:00 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Tap that bunny azz, Simon. At least you admit the only reason peole are willing to sleep with is fame and money. It take a real man to admit he has nothing to offer women except a pocketbook.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:43:00 PM  

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