Monday, July 24, 2006

Erifia's Cleaning Spree

I would like to begin with this, and this alone. Jon is abusing his power as the host to make us do his cleaning. Its a conspiracy and I feel Jon is out to get us. Enough conspiracy theory.

My idea is to make it easiest on myself, at the same time do some really serious work. I do want to win, in the long run. I seem to remember, something I wrote a long, long time ago... One of my first entries on my journal.

This is how I feel about wookies.

So, naturally, I decided to take the Wookie section. Let's just say it was noticeable from outer space.



Yeah. It wouldn't be that bad. It couldn't be that bad. I walked up to it, grabbed a couple (hundred) trashbags, and I began to fill them with wookie hair. There were fleas, and there were ticks, all of which didn't try to get to me. I smiled, Absolutely no hair except my eyebrows. And even if they got there, they would find a good thick layer of skin underneath them. I lived with wookies for a month, I got calluses from the fleas, and they never went away.

I realized that wookies when the person the bet on loses, they rip hair out of each other.

Bag after Bag I filled. Soon, the wookie section had filled over fifty bags, all of which were buzzing with the life inside. Next section please..

The Next section was the Twi'lek section. I smiled, We Twi'leks are a clean and tidy people. All there was, was glowing mushrooms, and several cups that had been tipped over. That wasn't too bad... Then...

Then...

Then...

I was so shocked, I couldn't speak...

They hadn't left... They were still there... Still eating... Still excriting.




Decapodians, filthy nasty creatures. There are remains of food, and solient green, and force knows what else. Like there was a full buffet tossed over, and they were still eating... I rubbed my chin... Maybe this could be easier than I thought...

"Hey," I said to their leader, "I have a deal for you... I will give you and your people fifty bags of wookie hair, fleas and ticks, if you eat everything around you, and make it sparkle."

He looked at everyone else, "Only if you throw in a can of anchovies..."

"I'll make it two, and we'll say you have it done in fifteen minutes..."

I heard this weird screeching cry, and all of them began to suck and eat everything, save the cement and chairs. There was gum stuck on the ground for years, and it was gone, then they leapt to the twi'lek side, ate what I missed, and devoured the wookie side... I handed them the bags of wookie hair, and gave the leader the two cans of anchovies.

He screeched and in two moments, he and his people rushed away.

"SEE JON, I CAN DO ANY MENIAL TASK YOU SET ME UP TO!" I yelled.

I wiped my forhead. Whew, manupulating a whole specie into doing my work is sure thirsty work, I think I want some lemonade.

So if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to Timmy Turner, I hear he's got good lemonade,

Lemon hugs and Ade kisses,
Erifia Apoc

15 Comments:

Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated said...

I maintain that Wookies need garlic powder in their diets, to keep the fleas off.

Monday, July 24, 2006 3:05:00 PM  
Blogger Spider-Man said...

honestly brilliant...

Monday, July 24, 2006 8:11:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

We could have used that Wookie hair to make Tupee' for Master Windu. He would have been able to finally have the Qui-Gon Jinn hair he always wanted.

Monday, July 24, 2006 10:19:00 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

But that would require actual work.

Monday, July 24, 2006 10:51:00 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wait a minute, Soylent Green is made out of people!

How about some Soylent Aquamarine instead?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 5:42:00 AM  
Blogger Florence said...

Now that is cleaning! Its only ashame you'd picked up all those bags of hair first:)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 9:03:00 AM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Nice job the Professor couldn't have done better.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 9:32:00 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Wrifia, you may be right about the conspiracy theory.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 2:29:00 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

What? there's no conspiracy. I don't see any bug stuck to my spine with it's tail sticking out of my neck.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 4:11:00 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Of course you can't, it makes itself invisible to you, but we all see it.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 9:35:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

You might want to have held onto those bags of hair. I hear Wookie fur coats go for a fortune on Coruscant.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 5:14:00 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Just as long as it's not soylent gray.

Soylent gray is robots!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 10:34:00 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

So, what's wrong with that? Robots is good eatin's. Just put a little A-1 on 'em. Wash 'em down with some Hoth Ice. Yum!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 1:15:00 PM  
Blogger Mirai Trunks said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Thursday, July 27, 2006 5:03:00 AM  
Blogger Mirai Trunks said...

How about some Soylent Aquamarine instead?

i think that's made out of Aquaman Jon

Thursday, July 27, 2006 5:04:00 AM  

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