Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Big Fight With Picard & Motty

Jean-Luc: Welcome, everybody to the Horizon Ampitheatre for the big fight; tonight, as my guest commentator, I have Motty, the esteemed English soccer commentator, who is known for his love of trivial facts.



Motty: thank you, Jean-Luc; did you know that it was in this very stadium 14 years ago that Mick the Masher finally managed to beat Neutron Nick after five attempts. I was always considered a very unlucky stadium fgor Mick at first, when....

Jean-Luc: Thank you, Motty, but perhaps we ought to remember the match in hand.

Motty: Of course; by the way, this will be the 1037th match that I've commentated on; it's a career that spans back more than 30 years when Hereford beat Newcastle United in the FA Cup; then, of course, I was...

Jean-Luc: The referee is just coming out to introduce the competitors.



Motty: With The Baroness as referee, the fighters know that they daren't put a foot wrong here, otherwise she will penalise them; I remember in a match last year when she machine-gunned a competitor because he infringed a penalty. He kept on talking when she told him...

Jean-Luc: The Baroness is just going to speak....

The Baroness: Now for the main event of the evening; on my left is Ororo Munroe, known as 'Storm', and on my right is Raven Darkholme, known as 'Mystique'.





Jean-Luc: This is going to be a real grudge match...

Motty: ....they have been struggling to fight each other; anything can happen right now, they are real enemies; this all started when Storm said to Mystique...

Jean-Luc: ...And the bell goes off; Storm blasts Mystique with her favourite move, the lightning strike and hits her against the ropes.





Motty: She's down already! Mystique is down already! This could be a very fast match. The fastest match I ever saw was three years ago was on Celsus IV when The Gurgitator made mincemeat of his opponent...and the referee.

Jean-Luc: Storm is pushing to get at Mystique, but The Baroness won't let her until the count is over...

Motty: The Baroness is threatening to shoot Storm with her pistol unless she goes to her corner; she is a tough referee, and won't stand for any trouble; I remember when...

Jean-Luc: Mystique is up and ready to go again; she is about to shapeshist; she changes into a replica of Storm and lunge at each other...which is which?



Motty: I think Storm is the one one the left...no it's the one on the right as she is given a triple head lock and changes back...did you know that Mystique has been a loyal member of the Brotherhood, and has served Magneto since...

Jean-Luc: Mystique now changes to a replica of The Baroness; this will confuse Storm temporarily, as she daren't attack the referee!

Motty: Not with those machine guns she's got; actually, I don't think The Baroness will be too happy about that. The last time she was a referee the...

Jean-Luc: The Baroness has shot her duplicate! As she lies on the floor she reverts to Mystique, and Storm uses a cyclone to lift the two of them up in the air.....

Motty: ....then she let's Mystique fall on the floor, while Storm effortlessly flies down.




Jean-Luc: It's a stunning victory for Storm! Professor Xavier will be happy for her.

Motty: Indeed he will, Jean-Luc. Let me just consult my 'Bumper Book Of Trivia' to see how much more I can say about their relatives, times they've met, history and....

Jean-Luc.....that wraps up this fight; goodnight, everybody.

9 Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wow, good thing I Tivo'd these two matches. Now I can watch them again and again.

And again and again.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:42:00 AM  
Blogger TX said...

Mysti.... That shapeshifter is not loyal...


Next time I will terminate the....

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 9:44:00 AM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

I actually have to say... I was betting on Mystique.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 10:51:00 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Mystique is creepy cute, but still creepy and Storm is just a whack job.

I hate not having any one to cheer on.

Wait ... Yeah Baroness, get on with your bad self

*ducks from machine gun fire*

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

So Baroness, what are you doing later...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 2:46:00 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Don't go with him... No good can come from it.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 3:54:00 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

I get the feeling you enjoyed interrupting Motty. The vibes... they speak to me... do not ignore the veins!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006 8:59:00 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Erifia, John Motson (Motty) is the most annoying commentator on British tv, who talks trivia even when important things are going on in front of him. It was a pleasure to keep interrupting him.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006 1:32:00 PM  
Blogger Magneto said...

Bah! Who cares what that wimp Xavier thinks?!

Mystique will have her vengence!!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006 10:27:00 PM  

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