Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Tak's Big Date

Continues from here.

I take the seat across from the Gorgon, all the while trying to avoid eye contact. I start to look down, but find my self staring at her chest. I quickly move my eyes to a spot just below her hair line, umm no, snake line. I jerked my head up so quickly I feel the small microphone in my ear dislodge and fly out.

One of the snake head snap it out of the air and eats it.

Great, now I can’t hear the Henchman. At least he can still hear my side of the conversation.

gorgon

“So Tak, … I can call you Tak right? I sooo happy you agreed to meet me. I have been thinking about you ever since we meet on the
second challenge. Everyone else was just so mean and you were nice. By the way I love how you fixed my hair. I have had the same style for the past millennium or so. You know how hard it is to find a stylist who is willing to work with snakes? Then my friends saw that photo spread of you and said I should call you and here we are.” She say all in one breath. The snakes have all risen up and are hissing lightly.

“Uh, … ummm … so Miss …. Umm, I don’t know your name.” I stammer

“I’m Melissa Dusa, but my friends call me Missy for short. You can call me Missy if you want. I hope you don’t mind, I ordered some appies for us. I hope to learn a lot more about you. Isn’t this great? I am sooo happy you stopped by.”

Appies? What the heck are Appies? Wait, did she say something about being over a millennium old? Oh man, I hope Henchman is getting this. I look over his way just a hint. He signals that he can hear me, but knows I can’t hear him. He moves to be more in my sight line. I hope he has a back up plan.

The waiter comes by with a plate of nachos and a bowl with live mice. Missy tosses a mouse in the air. One of the snake heads shoot out and eat the mouse, which squeaks a bit. Yikes.

I try to start a conversation “So, Miss Dusa …” I see Henchman laugh a little … “what do you do for fun, other then hang out and turn people to stone?” Henchman shakes his head back and forth.

“Well that’s more like my job, not what I do for fun. Mostly I hang out at the beach and sunbathe nude.” Henchman spits out his drink and gives me a thumbs up. “I think it is the only way to avoid tan lines” she continues as she pulls her top back just a bit so show me the “no tan lines”. I nearly choke on the nachos.

What is The Henchman doing now?

hench greenflag 1

“Oh poor baby. Did that go down the wrong pipe? Thank goodness I never have that problem. I have never choked on anything my whole life.” Missy smiles at me.

The Henchman uses the new signal, again.

hench greenflag 1

A pitcher of Margaritas show up. I pour a drink for both of us. As Missy takes her first sip she says absentmindedly, “All my girlfriend tease me about being a cheap date. Two of these and I’ll do almost anything. You know how friends are?” she laughs

hench greenflag 1

hench greenflag 2

hench greenflag 1

What he heck is that supposes to mean?

‘Of course I haven’t been out much since my boyfriend got into trouble” I see the Henchman dropping the green flag.

“I mean really, eat the son of some king and it off to the Labyrinth for you.” She continues as the slams down her drink, pours another and signals for another pitcher. “I guess it is to be expected, him being a Minotaur and all. Did you know he used to be on the IGE. He was great. Must have killed three dozen men.”

hench red flag 1

OK I get this one.

“But I don’t want to talk about that jerk right now. So what if he wants to see that Harpy on the side. I have ways of getting back at him. Let’s see how he feels when he sees me at the winner circle on Last Gladiator Standing with the all time Champion, Tak.” She is now drinking strait from the pitcher.

I look to The Henchman.

hench red flag 1

Missy continues “Then he will be like, ‘Oh Missy I am so sorry, please take me back.’ And I’ll laugh and say ‘no way loser bull head, I got me a new man, a real man, a whole man. A man that doesn’t need a harpy skank on the side.’ And then he’ll want to fight for me and I’ll tell him ‘Tak will fight with you his bare hands.’”

Missy is screeching at the top of her lungs, all the while the LGS camera crew is taping us. Missy is also starting to look a little different.

gorgon3

I wonder if that is what is meant by an ugly drunk? I see the Henchman giving me a new signal.

hench red flag 2

While Missy continues her furious rant to no one, I slip out of the booth and flee from the bar at top speed.

13 Comments:

Blogger Vegeta said...

Killed the son of a king...

Did I ever pay that minotaur for killing my older brother? What I was six and Couldn't fight him.

Why is evreyone lookoing at me like that?

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 2:07:00 AM  
Blogger Florence said...

I guess you have to take the good with the bad? Will Tak ever find true luv..

At least we know 'Henchman's' preferences^_^

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 5:10:00 AM  
Blogger NandeHi said...

Like I have always said - cant find true love in a bar, unless you drink...a lot...then more.. Well there is always the Nanny... :)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 5:52:00 AM  
Blogger Not_a_Jedi said...

ur date sounds like an interesting person but isnt she a bit old for you?

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 7:05:00 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

I didn't realize Henchman was so adept at Wendigo flag signals.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 7:59:00 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

And the date started out so well.

Hey, maybe she'll play a Peter Gabriel song to you from a boombox. That would be kind of neat.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 8:00:00 AM  
Blogger captain koma said...

Gee and I thought this was going to end with a bang.

I feel sorry for you Tak.

How about a Missy synthoid. I assure you no tan lines.

Koma

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 8:48:00 AM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Oh Man you got out just in time.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 9:31:00 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Talk about a bad blind date...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 1:17:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Yowzer, I think she was heading towards what the Professor once referred to as a 'three bagger'.

I would say she's a weight stack. Good thing you got out of there safely with everything intact

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 6:02:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Three bagger is right. One for her, one for you and one for the camera man.


So close and yet oh so far.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 7:04:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Vegeta: Guilty feeling about something?

Florence: Who knows. This dating stuff is harder than it looks.

Nandehi: What? I am called to the Jedi Temple on an emergency. Be right there.

Not: I think she might be, Us clone are only about 12 (next month)

Gyrobo: He is a Henchman of many talents.

Jon: But if I 'Say Anything", I might end up 'Better Off Dead' (fill in own cusack joke here)

Koma: Well it did almost end up with me being rock hard (ok that was over the top)

Henchman: Thanks to you buddy!!

Captain Picard: But she wasn't blind

Lt. Cmdr: 3 bagger? Weight stack (ok I really don't know what that one means)

Prof X; Thank for the definition. Yikes indeed

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 8:52:00 PM  
Blogger Spider-Man said...

I actually feel kinda bad for her. The Black Cat was all into me before she found out that I was only 16 at the time...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 9:26:00 PM  

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