Simon: Immunity
Well that was a complete waste of my time. Watching you all eat is intensely boring, but that is what I’ve come to expect of this lot. Let us go down the line of competitors, shall we?
Picard: I’ve got nothing bad to say about you. You were perhaps the only contestant to have any manners what so ever, even in the face of some vile food. I’d commend you for maintaining your manners and level of decorum while others abandoned theirs, but that would imply they had some to begin with, which they did not.
Henchman: Aside from your endless flirting with Hudson, you also did quite well. I like a man who can summon a creature to do his dirty work. I especially appreciate it when a henchman can summon a lackey of his own.
Maggie: You are a musical event in your own right, and not for any good reason. I detest show tunes and musical pictures. While you get some points for being the ONLY contestant to realize they could use the condiments on the table, squawking an annoying show tune made my skin crawl.
Vegeta: You have a very healthy appetite, and I still want to smack Randy.
Deadpool: Since you speak Randy’s particular brand of what most likely the Queen’s English once, he likes you. I am perplexed by you, and I’ll leave it at that.
Padmé: You, my dear, are an alkie. You need rehab, badly. God forbid you ever get knocked up and not know it. While I’m sure you’re great fun in a piss up, you’re a terrible bore here.
Gyrobo: You make me think that I should insist the Jon get you all tested for drugs.
Professor X: You scored well for coming up with the idea of getting someone else to eat your food, nice and original.
Erifia: Darling, you are quite tasty in that outfit, but watching you eat is like watching a convention of fat people at Village Buffet in the South during a feeding frenzy. It’s a nasty horrific sight, and you wonder if you’ll manage to get away from it all alive.
Aayla: Do you require an engraved invitation to participate? You kept all of us here while we waited for you to show up, bad manners. And the forks go on the left in most worlds, but never mind, my faux-cultured Jedi. At least you managed to eat the food without too much in the way of tragedy and woe interfering.
AOC: While you did complete the task, you whine more than that useless twit in Garden State. ‘Oh, my life is so hard, I have to eat food, but it’s, like, totally not what I want’ ‘Oh, I’m like stuck on a show that will grant me fame and fortune if I win, but they totally don’t get me, who I am, man.’ I hate self indulgent whiners, and this week you wrested the title of the most self-center bugger on the show from Aayla. Congratufrickinlations!
Ok, now that I’ve reviewed that which most likely caused some of my brain cells to kill themselves, we’ll announce who gets immunity. After deliberations with Randy, his interpreter, and myself, we’ve reached a conclusion.
Immunity goes to....
Henchman
Picard: I’ve got nothing bad to say about you. You were perhaps the only contestant to have any manners what so ever, even in the face of some vile food. I’d commend you for maintaining your manners and level of decorum while others abandoned theirs, but that would imply they had some to begin with, which they did not.
Henchman: Aside from your endless flirting with Hudson, you also did quite well. I like a man who can summon a creature to do his dirty work. I especially appreciate it when a henchman can summon a lackey of his own.
Maggie: You are a musical event in your own right, and not for any good reason. I detest show tunes and musical pictures. While you get some points for being the ONLY contestant to realize they could use the condiments on the table, squawking an annoying show tune made my skin crawl.
Vegeta: You have a very healthy appetite, and I still want to smack Randy.
Deadpool: Since you speak Randy’s particular brand of what most likely the Queen’s English once, he likes you. I am perplexed by you, and I’ll leave it at that.
Padmé: You, my dear, are an alkie. You need rehab, badly. God forbid you ever get knocked up and not know it. While I’m sure you’re great fun in a piss up, you’re a terrible bore here.
Gyrobo: You make me think that I should insist the Jon get you all tested for drugs.
Professor X: You scored well for coming up with the idea of getting someone else to eat your food, nice and original.
Erifia: Darling, you are quite tasty in that outfit, but watching you eat is like watching a convention of fat people at Village Buffet in the South during a feeding frenzy. It’s a nasty horrific sight, and you wonder if you’ll manage to get away from it all alive.
Aayla: Do you require an engraved invitation to participate? You kept all of us here while we waited for you to show up, bad manners. And the forks go on the left in most worlds, but never mind, my faux-cultured Jedi. At least you managed to eat the food without too much in the way of tragedy and woe interfering.
AOC: While you did complete the task, you whine more than that useless twit in Garden State. ‘Oh, my life is so hard, I have to eat food, but it’s, like, totally not what I want’ ‘Oh, I’m like stuck on a show that will grant me fame and fortune if I win, but they totally don’t get me, who I am, man.’ I hate self indulgent whiners, and this week you wrested the title of the most self-center bugger on the show from Aayla. Congratufrickinlations!
Ok, now that I’ve reviewed that which most likely caused some of my brain cells to kill themselves, we’ll announce who gets immunity. After deliberations with Randy, his interpreter, and myself, we’ve reached a conclusion.
Immunity goes to....
Henchman
posted by Simon at 1:07 AM
6 Comments:
Yo man, dat's wat I been sayin' the whole time I-
Wait.
*bzzzzzz*
Ah, that's better. I still can't believe that that that wigety wack done...
*bzzz*
I need lunch. NOW! Bob Dole is after me!
Enjoy it while you can.
No, no. What I meant was - "congratulations."
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Congrats, Henchman.
Man, Simon spanked me like a Twi'lek at a B.A.R.C.er Bar.
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