Saturday, July 15, 2006

Tak Panics Over His Phone Call

Continued from here

As I hang up the phone panic hits me like a Star cruiser. I have faced battle droids, Ackleys, and an annoying Republic Senator, but all that pales in comparison to the idea of a date.

Okay, maybe it is not a date. It just meeting for drinks, that’s all, no big deal. I’ll meet this mystery women at the bar, have a drink, chat a little, then call it a night. Easy. No problem. It’s not really a date.

Then why am I sweating like a Hutt in a donut shop? Why does my stomach feel like it keeps rolling over? And why the heck am I having this much internal dialogue?

Okay I need to calm down and find someone to talk to about this problem. Hudson catches up with me in the hall.

“Hey Tak. Why the long face. Not that I can see it under you helmet, but you seem a little nervous for some reason. What the matter worried about your DATE!!!!”

“What? It not a date! Just a person who want to talk to me … about the show I’m sure.” I reply without much confidence.

“Don’t worry, My warrior brother. I got just the book for you … written by an expert …”

“Not your women I loved or who loved me or whatever the heck it was book?”

‘No, No! this is another book read it and if it don’t help you, nothing will. It will be dating game over for you.” Hudson hand me the book and walks away.

husdon dating for dummies

I look down at the cover. Oh Snap. This is just want I need.

Professor X come rolling up the hall and sees the book I am carrying.

“What in God green earth are doing with that awful book Tak?” he admonishes

“Uhh … Well … Hudson … phone call … Hudson … maybe a date ….” I stammered out

The Professor does lift his hand to his head and enters my mind.

“Dang it!’ I shout “Just don’t sneak up on a guys brain like that. Geez what about personal space.

“Sorry you man, I am just trying to help. So you have a blind date … Hmmm … and your worried about what the viewers will think … or just is it just one viewer.”

I begin running tech semantics through my head and tell the Professor about the call, the meeting for drinks, and my small bit of anxiety about a date.

“I see Tak. Well dealing with women is very easy. All you have to do is figure out what they want. Take me for instance. I try to learn as much about a lady as I can before a date. Her like and dislikes, what food she like, whether she like sherry or port. Then I apply all I have learned and make it the best evening possibly for my lovely companion.”

“Easy for you to say Professor, you can read minds. I haven’t even been on a date before.” I was out before I even though about it.

The professor looks at me with a little disbelief. “Well then your up that proverbial creek with out the proverbial paddle, my lad.” He turn and rolls off in the direction of Maggie’s room.

I head to my room in full panic mode, when I see The Henchman say goodbye to the purple biker girl from our night on the town.

After she leaves I go up to him. “Hey Henchman, I have a small problem that I would like to talk to you about.”

“I’m not killing any of the competition on the show, Tak. I think it is against the rules in our contract.” Henchman says

“What? Kill another … Uhh, no that not my problem. I have a date later this week, that’s my problem.”

“Why does it conflict with you seeing another lady?”

“No, Uhh no. It not because of a conflct with another lady. The problem is …”

“Is it another man or something … Not that there is a problem with that or anything, just not my bag.” The Henchman replies with a smile

I just stare at him for a minute, then he starts to smile. “Oh, come on I am just messing with you Tak. Tell me what you need and I’ll see what I can do for you.”

I explain the phone call, the getting together for drinks and my not having been on a date before.

“But you’re, what, 25 or 30 right? How have you never been on a date?” He asks

“I don’t like to admit this to a lot of people, but I am only 12.” I reply quietly

“Twelve!” Henchman says in shock

“Well, 12 next month” I admit “10 years of accelerated growth and leaning , 17 months of fighting the droids and here I am, almost 12.”

The Henchman look at me with a raised eyebrow. “I think we should keep the 12 part under wraps, I don’t want to lose a drinking buddy. As for you date here is what were are going to do. Have you ever heard of Cyrano de Bergerac …”

To be continued


Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Just carefully listen to what I say.

Saturday, July 15, 2006 11:10:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

*frowns a bit*
Tak, I'm not sure it's such a good idea to go out for drinks with a complete stranger. What if she spikes your drink with something and then tries to take advantage of you?

Oh, wait... that probably wouldn't bother a guy, would it?

And I suppose it's not my place to say anything, so I won't, nothing at all. I mean, why would I? Nope, not a word, nary a peep.

Saturday, July 15, 2006 11:12:00 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Janara might well be right, Tak.

Sunday, July 16, 2006 6:03:00 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Yes, taking dating advice from Hudson and an evil cyborg with a trick left arm. That should guarantee a smooth evening.

Sunday, July 16, 2006 6:21:00 AM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Hey Professor,

At least I am not a two timing perv.coughmaggie<artcough.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:59:00 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Hey! Miss Tart and I are just friends! I strongly resent you implication!

Just to be clear, I don't resent the part where I'm being manly and scoring with two ladies, just the part where I'd be less than honorable with one of them.

Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:19:00 AM  
Blogger Warbird said...

Never take advice from guys about dating but girls...

watch chick flicks and read books women like

Hmmm perhaps I should date you first to just show you the ropes...

never been on a date means fresh meat Mmmmmmmm

means never been kissed
means never ,

shall I give you my phone number
since I think Scott mmm doesnt like girls it could be nice to go out with a man in the military (I just love uniforms)


Cyrano *swoons*

also try to learn from Casa Nova

Sunday, July 16, 2006 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

You must obey, for all henchmen are untapped sources of sweet, delicious knowledge. Too few understand that-

Bee! There's a bee! Argh! It's going to sting me! Noooooooooo!

Sunday, July 16, 2006 9:23:00 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Cyrano de Bergerac?

This is gonna be fun.

Monday, July 17, 2006 6:54:00 AM  

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