Thursday, July 13, 2006

AOC: Let's Do The Space/Time Warp Again

A mirror universe. What an interesting conundrum this will pose.
What will a opposite version of me be like?

I have always thought of we clones as neutral; following order, never thinking of the cause or consequences of our action. All those decisions are made by other and we just march to the beat we are given.

Will I find I am good or will I stare into the abyss and find that it is I who am evil?

Or will I find myself in a parallel universe, like but unlike mine?

It is enough to boggle the mind of one small creature in so larger a sea of humanity.

On the plus side I know I am going with the yellow armor, because it brings out my eyes the best.

cody 2

I step through Jon’s portal. A sensation of being taken apart, scrambles and re-atomized hits me like a pleasant wave on the shore of the Alderaan sea.

*POP!!!*

I stumble into an enormous office with a view of Coruscant and am immediately greeted by a clone.

jango 2

“Oh my, you have arrived early. I am sorry, we were hoping to have more of a delegation here.”

I stare at this odd version of me. What the heck kind of shirt is that. The pale blue is tacky.

“Where are my manners, I haven’t even introduced myself. I am KT 622.” He extends his hand

I go to shake it and he shouts “WAIT, I almost forgot about the anti-matter vs. matter thing!”

I jerk my hand back and he begins to laugh “Oh, I love that joke.” He grabs my hand and shake it vigorously.

I am a little confused and thinking I need to drop this guy like a spice habit.

“Well, I am sure you have a lot of question. We can have a nice chat over tea. You can take your helmet off, if you want. It is a rather warm day”

His office is enormous, stretching 25 by 20 meter, with a view that many Senator in my would have literally killed for. I can tell by the view we are in the financial district.

“Are you the Chancellor or something.” I ask

mor_clone2

He laughs “oh no, I am just a clog in the wheels of business. Just one of the many accountants that make up this company.” He replies

An Accountant ??? The mirror universe me is a freaking accountant. This is just wrong.

“But you are one of the top executives, right?” I inquire

“No, No, my friend. Just a regular clone accountant. I barley make 250,000 credits a year”

I almost piss myself. $250,000 credits a year. I get 40 credits a month for R&R!!!

I decide to ask some question before I start getting mad about my universe.

“So why are you a cloned accountant? What the deal with that?” I ask sharply

He looks quizzically at me “You mean you are not an accountant?”

“No, I am a solider. I kill things. I think I asked you a question first!” I glare at him.

“All clones on Coruscant are copies of Fango Jett …”

I make a protest noise, KT 622 shrugged and say “it a parallel universe, you have to expect funny names ok.”

I nod yes

“As I was saying, we are all copies of Fango Jett, the greatest accounting brain in the Republic. He was an accounting investigator. He broke all the accounting fraud in his day. But then the Jedi began taking over business, using new accounting methods. They formed a company to take over all the other companies in the universe. Forceron. They called them selves the crooked F.”

forcerone

“So your saying the Jedi were bad?” I skeptically ask.

“Well they were bad for the good name of business. Anyway, Chancellor Palatine knew sooner or later the Jedi would kill Fango to stop him from exposing their accounting scam. He then commissioned the GAR …”

“Grand Army of the Republic?” I inquired

“Nooo, The Good Accountants of the Republic … oh stop groaning and listen to the rest of my exposition. If you keep interrupting this post will never end”

I quite down.

“Too make a long story short, *looks at the reader* opps too late … The GAR was able to take down the Jedi. All of them went to jail: Yoda Lay, Mace Skilling, Obi-Wan Fastow. You name them, we nailed them.”

“I supposed the Chancellor stayed on, clinging to the power given to him during this so called accounting crisis?” I mocked

‘Of course not, he retired to Naboo, became a florist. We all wanted him to stay in longer, but he would hear none of it. It worked out well for the Republic. Chancellor Binks has proven to be the most articulate and positive force for finical ….”

“BINKS …. BINKS as in the Gungan Jar Jar Binks?” I practically shout and be begin to stand up. This is too much, to fracking much.

KT 622 looks aghast by my reaction, “well yes, that is Chancellor Binks. Why does that disturb you so? Is he evil in your universe?”

I am not listening any more. I am fixated by the picture on KT 622 desk.

queen_rania

“And what the F&#* is the Lt. Cmdr doing in a picture on your desk?” I roar

KT 622 blinks at me once or twice, “Who? You mean Jardina. She is no Lt. Cmdr, unless you count her as the commander of my heart.” He smile weakly.

jango 3

“Your …. Your … your … “I stammered “WIFE!!!”

“Yes, My wife. I met her when she was teaching my accounting classes. She is a great women, wonderful mother and a wiz with the computer. Our kids ….”

That’s when I lost it. I leaped over the desk and began to beat KT 622 senseless. He must have had time to hit the security alert.

It took 7 member of building security to pull me off him. As I was dragged to the portal, I kept screaming “No, You can’t make me go back. I am going to take that mealy mouth accountant's place. That bastard has the life I should have HAD!!!!”

They heaved me through the portal and I land at Jon’s feet.

“So how was the evil you?” Jon asked jauntily

“Fracking great!” I bark as I punch him in the face.

9 Comments:

Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Yeah. My other self stunk too.

Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:46:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Ooh, punching the host in the face. Bold move. He is an Intergalactic Gladiator, you know.

Friday, July 14, 2006 8:18:00 AM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Wow... Tak, are you going to tell Oneida?

Friday, July 14, 2006 10:03:00 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

So you like Oneida?

Hmmm, never saw it coming.

Friday, July 14, 2006 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

That won't your chances a lot of good, punching Jon.

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:38:00 PM  
Blogger Magdalena said...

well what is possible AOC in one universe is possible in another

just takes guts

Friday, July 14, 2006 2:12:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

So does that mean that I'm going to be a crummy mom in this universe?

BTW, very funny, well done

Friday, July 14, 2006 2:39:00 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Oh ... Lt. Cmdr .... Ummm, You watch this show? Wow, talk about akward. OMG look over there behind you!!!

*runs and hides*

Friday, July 14, 2006 6:54:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Tak, do we need to have a talk when you get back?

Saturday, July 15, 2006 1:40:00 PM  

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