Xavier makes a friend

I looked over to Magdalena. She looked as hesitant as I felt.

“Well this should be fairly easy,” I thought to her telepathically.

“I guess so. We just have to select a compatible sidekick, huh?”

“So it would seem, my dear.”

“If we can’t get one to join us then we don’t complete the task?”

“I think that’s how it works, yes. Good luck.”

“You too, Charles.”

I then turned my attention to the crowd of freaks and weirdoes in front of us. None of them looked particularly promising. I rolled up to the one nearest me.

“How do you do? My name is Xavier.”

The giant pink starfish said, “I like rocks! Do you like rocks? Rocks are probably the most useful thing in Bikini Bottom. You can make houses out them. You can throw them real far. And then you can eat them!”

“Why, I had never thought of doing that with a rock. You certainly are clever. Perhaps you would be interested in being my sidekick.”

The giant starfish looked at me for a moment with wide vacant eyes. “Hey!” he finally shouted. “Look at that twig!” And then the creature bounded off. He moved remarkable fast for such a sedentary lifeform.

Turning to the next potential partner, I found myself looking at a short robotic man with a strange necklace.

“Be-de be-de be-de, what’s up bud?” he asked in a gravely voice.

“My name is Xavier and I was wondering if you would be interested in a team-up?”

The large round dial hanging around his neck started to flash with strange lights and a prissy male voice emanated from it. “This one seems intelligent,” he said, “but he lacks the dashing charisma of a true hero. Let’s try that fellow in the white armor, Twiki.”

“You got it, Doc.”

I watched the little metal man waddle off. Obviously this was not going to be as easy as I hoped. What I needed was some kind of clever plan. Something really ingenious. Something . .

“Excuse me,” came a soft voice from behind me. I turned around and saw a short white man in a rather nice wool suit. “Do you know how to spell potato?”

“Er . . no. I think the man you want is over there – in the black and red jump suit. He’s a captain and spelling is part of his job.”

“Oh. Thank you very much,” the man said as he wandered aimless into obscurity.

That was close. Glancing around I saw that Vegeta and one of the Twiliks had already found sidekicks. Time was running out. As I turned my chair to head back into the throng of wannabes, I crashed into something soft and flabby.

“O-oh, I’m sorry,” said the man in the white suit as he got to his feet.

“What a fine rabbit costume,” I told him.

“Actually, it’s, um, suppose to be a moth suit. See?”

And with that he pressed a button and giant flimsy wings popped out from his knapsack.

“My, that is impressive. What’s your name?”

“A-arthur.”

“That certainly is an heroic name. Do you do much adventuring?”

“Not if I can help it. I mean, I want to be a hero but . . do you spend much time on rooftops?”

“None at all,” I assured him.

“Really?” His whole body seemed to brighten up. “How about jumping off tall buildings? Have you ever done that?”

“Not once,” I told him, gesturing towards my wheelchair. He glanced down as if noticing it for the first time.

“Wow! That’s great!” he said. “I mean, not that you're in a chair. That’s terrible really. But that you don’t, well no. I mean . . can I be your sidekick?”

I smiled and shook Arthur’s hand. “Just one thing Arthur. Do you have a battle cry?”

“Not really.”

“I’m afraid you need to have one.”

“Well . . how about ‘spoon’?”

“Spoon?” Whatever. “Wonderful, my boy. Just wonderful.”