Friday, August 11, 2006

Tak: Date Epilogue

I am stretched on the bed in my LGS room reading the lasted technical manuals on the CR-1 blaster cannon, when The Henchman looks in the door,

Hey Tak, How you doing? Better now that we are back to being guys?”

Yeah, it feels nice to have all the part that I am used to back. But I have to say it itches like heck along my wax lines

The Henchman shakes his head “Uhh Tak we have talked about the TMI issue before. Remember some things are best left to your “inside” voice.”

Sorry. So why did you stop by? Is it time for Happy Hour at the LGS bar?’ I ask much too hopefully

That and I wanted to make a little confession to you. I have something to tell you about your dating experience.”

Please don’t bring that up. Who knew LGS was going to film that, carry it live and then make a freaking blooper show out of it. If I see one more slo-mo shot of me running from the bar, I’m going to kill me a camera man. I even heard rumors that people were placing bets in Los Hegas on the other side of Hacknor. What kind of dirt bag would do that?”

Not all people who make bets are dirt bags. …. Cough …. Cough... and that is what I wanted to talk to you about.” The Henchman says nervously

I raise an eyebrow, but say nothing.

When I found out that LGS was going to film, I got a hold of an old acquaintance who is a bookie here on Hacknor. Odds were running 1 to 8 that you would manage to complete the date. That is one reason I wanted you do well.”

So you’re saying you bet on me and lost.” I was getting a little upset.

No, I bet in such a way that I won money. One can place bet on all aspects of everything. Like would your date be another contestant? Would you spill you drink on your date? Would wear your armor? All sorts of things. I had an idea of who it might be, so I put money on the Gorgon showing up. Odds were 37 to 1 that she was you date. I put $5,000 down and cleared $185,000.” The Henchman explains.

Great! Glad you made some money off my humiliation.” I respond snarkily

Come on Tak, Don’t get upset. Did you know you can combine bets in to funky trifecta bets? Like if someone put $1 on you not being able to make eye contact, your date having a boyfriend and your date getting drunk and screaming at you, that bet would pay out 17,000 republic credits.” He smiles

17,000 credits? That a fair amount of money. You can buy passage to Alddaran with a top flight smuggler with that money.”

Heck, you could almost buy your own ship for that much.” Henchman replies

Ha ha. So why you telling me this. Just to rub it in worse.” I ask sulkily

Nope Buddy. Here.” The Henchman hands me a credit stick “Here is 17,000 cr. From the bet I place on you,"

I am stunned, “Wow, Really? Thanks. This is great. Even if I don’t win LGS at least I walk away with something.”

You mean other then razor burn on you thighs.” The Henchman laughs.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Sniff, that evil monster has a heart of gold!

Friday, August 11, 2006 12:22:00 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Who knew a super-villian's henchman could be so thoughtful? Actually, they can't. It's in the jeans. I smell something fishy. The authorities probably found out about his illegal gambling and are looking for whoever has that money. I'd hate for you to get in trouble so, being a super-hero, I'll hold the money for you.

Friday, August 11, 2006 1:35:00 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Uh Professor, what are you doing in the Henchman's jeans?

Friday, August 11, 2006 2:32:00 PM  
Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said...

"You mean other then razor burn on yout thighs.”
I told you to put cream on that.

Friday, August 11, 2006 3:01:00 PM  
Blogger Skywalker said...

Everything back in order, Earl? *smerks*

Friday, August 11, 2006 3:06:00 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Grrr... my bet that one of you'd get run over by a dump truck driven by Dick Cheney yielded nothing! A perfect waste of $5.

Friday, August 11, 2006 4:08:00 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

That's why you're supposed to wax your bikini line, not shave. How many times I have I told you that. And if you wear boxers you won't get bumps, it'll just itch. That's an FYI from Fabio over at Sir Waxalots.

So what will you do with your money? Being that it's a gift and you live on Coruscant, none of it is taxible. There are some perks on living on a plaet full of self interested law makers :)

Friday, August 11, 2006 6:29:00 PM  
Blogger Darth Nepharia said...

Hey, at least you got SOMETHING as a result of your total humiliation.

Friday, August 11, 2006 8:40:00 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Hey Tak, was one of the nicest guys I met. I would give him a kindey. Xavier's kindey.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Friday, August 11, 2006 9:28:00 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I hoope everybody is back completely as they should be.

Saturday, August 12, 2006 4:25:00 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Hey! Must be those 'jeans' talking again.

Saturday, August 12, 2006 4:10:00 PM  

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