Roosevelt Is My Only Judge!

"Glub! I can't eat any... anymore..." I cried, unable to consume any more butterscotch-filled cicada shells.

"Don't stop now, Gyrobo, you're on a roll!" shouted my toaster from the sidelines. Only household appliances would have such unwavering faith.

"But... never mind." I said, trying to bite my tongue.

If word got out that there was a fast food chain capable of producing cicada shells with the same tangy aftertase as a galaxy-class chef, Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm would be ruined. It's not that I care about him, as his species destroyed my planet (at least, they would have if we had one). But he's got about a thousand kids spread out across half the universe. How could he provide for them if I cut off his only source of income?! How could anyone be so heartless?!

"Beep!" I screamed, trying to confuse the judges. "Beep! Ten divided by zero! The square root of negative five..."

If they had been robots, their brains would have exploded by then.

"...negative five?"

"Stop stalling and eat!" came a familiar voice from behind me. I turned around to see none other than the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt. "Avenge me!"

"Yes, Mr. President! For T.R!" With renewed vigor, I laid into those cicadas. "I'll do to this plate of inedible food what you did to Panama!"

"What in the Sam Hill are you talking about?" asked Randy.

"Cram it, Porkins! Only Roosevelt is my judge! Emoticon thirty four!"

"Roosevelt? Uh... who is 'Roosevelt?'"

"Technically, it would be 'Roosevelts,' plural. There are two, Franklin and Teddy. They speak through me to fulfill their twin desires to conserve woodland and rebuild the economy."

"Uh... the former presidents? The dead former presidents?"

"They may be dead... but they were never born. We are the legacy, Porkins."

Simon walked over and took away my cicadas. "I'm willing to give you a passing mark if you'll just calmly leave," he said slowly, putting his hands up in a defensive posture. He knew from experience what this could turn into.

"Fool!" I bellowed, knocking the table over. "You thought you could control the Roosevelts! But they evaded you, didn't they? They only wanted you to think they left office... but they're still president! Both of them!"

"Security, we need some assistance," whispered Randy into his walkie talkie. That's when I lost it.

"Porkins! Can't you see it?! Can't you hear the big picture?!" He turned his face away from me and covered it with his hands, hoping I would ignore his data and share the secrets with someone else. And he was 100% right.

"Simon?! Are you reading me?!" I crackled as I ran over to him. "Don't you see?! It's so funny! Ha ha ha," I laughed in monotone. His face crinkled up.

"Remember Bloth from that old show, the Pirates of Dark Water?" I didn't wait for him to respond. "Of course you do. We all remember ol' Captain Bloth. But no one knew that he was..." and I turned my head a full 360 degrees to assure myself that no one was watching. "based on a true story."

"I'd love to stay here," pleaded Simon, "but I can see from this window that someone is breaking into my car. So I have to go... right now..."

"Simple Simon! You have no car. It's in your mind. But as I was saying, Bloth, he's real But he's not after the treasures of Rule. No... he's been rigging elections. Trying to steal the Roosevelts' mandate. You believe me... don't you?!"

Simon was close to tears. "I... you win! You win," he cried. "You win the eating contest!"

Once again, the Roosevelts provide for their only true follower!

"But wait," I looked over at the plates of baked pickrat and chocolate asparagus. "Don't I have to eat all that?"

"No! You win! By default!"

"Fair enough. Now, Simon, I don't ask this to anybody, but..." I turned my head another 360 degrees. Simon started shaking. "Would you like to leave your existence behind and fight for the Roosevelts? In their realm?!"

"I have to... uh..."

He screamed, and bolted for the exit. I turned to Randy.

"I guess he didn't want to join the Roosevelt Historical Society. See you tomorrow." and I walked back to my geodesic dome.

Vegeta: More please!

I don't know what everyone is complaining about. This food is delicious. I think I may hire Starkey al Hmmmmmmmm to be my personal chef. I have discovered in my galactic travels there is only two things in the universe that is un edible food.


Raw fish, and Bulma's cooking. Luckily none of those were here. I attacked the dishes hungrily. I hate to admit it but I acted like Kakarot.




There was so many treats here.

Like mucus covered insects.


Namek hearts


Whatever this is




Giant talking hydra worms.


" Don't eat us!" "Oh do be quiet! Chomp!"

Elf intestines

Apple with an eye in it, can see the teeth coming I guess.

Mermaid chili


All Washed down with Calpis water Frozen bovine urine.

I But could I enjoy this? Noooooo! During my fourteenth course. Bongrinder wanted some of my food and this floating green thing too. After punching Bonegrinder I bit into the green thing It tasted surprisingly good, then it disappeared as I was going to eat it.


Then I'm attacked By Barney robots. I eat and fight at the same time, Spinkick , Bite . Straight punch , bite. ki blast , bite. You get the picture. The evil genius behind the Barneys revealed himself. He was My Father- in Law Wearing a mullet wig, and spandex . Now that's disgusting, I'm trying to eat here.




" What do you think your doing you senile Fool !" I yell.

" Call me Dr Wacky." he said. " I 'll kill you for infecting my daughter with your children!"

" With these pathetic things?" I ask as I destroy the robot Barneys with a ki blast.

" You may have beaten me this time Vegeta! But I'll be back ! And then Bulma can marry that nice Yamcha boy."

" Um you do know about Yamcha's new um lifestyle right?" I ask.

He wasn't listening he used some kind of transportation device to disappear. So I go back to the meal. " Hey Starkey anything left? "

" Yes I just finished cooking a giant grasshopper filled with spleen jelly."

" Well bring it on!" I say eating what I guess is my 20th course.

AOC: Eating the Competition for Lunch

An eating contest. This will be no problem. I have eaten just about every disgusting item in my home Galaxy: Grand Army of the Republic MREs, Dewback Dung Beetles, Kashyyyk Tree Slugs, Tauntaun Intestine Stew and once Anakin Skywaker even gave me left-overs of a meal that Senator Amidala had made.

I can honestly say I have eaten meals that would make a Wookie cry and a Jawa throw up. So to quote Chancellor Palpatine “Bring it on!”

I take my seat at table and one of Starkey’s minions comes up to me.

“Ah, Mister TK 266. How are you this evening? I will be your waiter Pierre” the man says slimily.

I shoot back, “You must be pretty dry if you Pee….”

“Sir, you used that joke a while ago when Jon, The Intergalactic Gladiator, was solving the case of the “Murder on the Orion Express”. If you had read your Last Gladiator Standing contract you would know you are not allowed to recycle lame jokes. Especially if Mr. Jon had heard them and think you…, I mean, the jokes are stupid.”

I looked a little stunned and think to my self: I don’t like this waiter very much.

‘Ok, I get it, no recycled jokes. So what does Starkey have on tap for me? Rancor Oysters, Sarlacc tongue sandwiches, Mynock eyeballs?” I ask with gusto.

The waiter smiles like the sycophant he is, “Usually one has to go to a cantina on Tattoine to meet someone on your character. How lucky of me to be here today.”

I look blankly at Pierre.

"Anyhoo,” He continues, “Some of the meals are being custom made for the particular taste of the contestants. I am sure you will enjoy your “special meal”."

Pierre heads back to the kitchen area. Wouldn’t you know it, he didn’t ask me what I wanted to drink or leave one of those little baskets of bread. I try to catch the eye of one of the other waiters who all mouth the words “not my station.”

After what seem like hours Pierre comes back and Starkey is with him.

‘Mr. TK 266, so nice of you to visit. We have a great meal lined up for you. We are starting with an appetizer of Scallops and Cauliflower with Caper Raisin Sauce. Would you care to try them?” asked Starkey

I look warily, “Do I have a choice” He nods in his head from side to side. “Is a ‘Kay-Purr’ anything like a Kaadu? Cuz I like eating Kaaus.” They both look at me funny.

Pierre places three small strange looking food items on the table before me. I swoop up all three and eat them quickly. It tastes very strange: slightly fishy, with a sour and weird sweet taste. I think I am going to throw up, but manage to keep it down.

“Oh, that is nasty, “I choke out. “What do you call that funky tasting stuff?’

Pierre snottily says “Seasoning, Mr. TK266, Seasoning.” Sharkey grins and walks off muttering “my work here is done”

The next item Pierre gives to me is a Garden Gazpacho with Garlic soup. I barley choke it down. How can they call it soup if it is cold and doesn’t have any Ganjuko in it? At least the portions are small. Where did they ever come up with this garbage? I’ve tasted better stuff off the bottom of my boot.

When I look over at the next table, I see Captain Picard eating something that look like Womp Rat Tails. Some people have all the luck.

My next course is something called a Sall-dead. I perk up when Pierre said it was Asparagus with a Vypsigreet dressing. Cool, I love Vyps, which are small poisonous lizards. They are great toasted on a stick. I am immediately downcast when I taste the bitter concoction that was really called Vinaigrette. I think Pierre is doing it on purpose.

I feel sick to my stomach. I throw up a little in my mouth, but swallow it back down.

I see the Henchman eating something that look like lower intestines of a Ronto. I almost tear up.

“Are you doing Ok, Mr. TK 266”, Pierre asks smugly. “You can quit at anytime. I am sure your family would still be proud of you. Oh wait, how boorish of me to mention your family when you are a clone. Please forgive me Sir.” I think he is making fun of me.

“Now for your Entrée,” He continued, “Tuna Steak with Tapenade Glaze.”
I look up hopefully, Pierre rolls his eyes and says “and before you ask, No I don’t think Tapenade is made from Tapeworm."

Crestfallen I begin to eat the Entrée. The fish has been ruined by the chef, who insisted on cutting off the head and tail before baking it. What is up with this Starkey and his crazy need to heat all the food? After what seems like an eternity I get the last of the sickening rations down. I almost don’t make it.

Pierre smirk obsequiously, “Just one more item, Mr. TK 266. The dessert is a Ricotta Stuffed Shells with Lemon & Berry Sauce. I am sure you will enjoy it very much.”

I look down at the plate. I try smelling it to see if the Barri sauce is actually made from the Space parasite that feeds on old ship and asteroids. One sniff of the unhealthy smelling sweet tells me that is not the case. I decide to just hold my nose and slam down this so called dessert.

As I am trying to gag down the last of my food, Pierre beings talking “Oh that smell heavenly. The lemons were picked fresh today. And the berries are to die for. You can taste the flavor of each one as you bite into its tenderness…”

Pierre’s description of the food I was trying so hard not to think about pushed me over the edge. I heaved, I upchucked, I projectile vomited (like this guy)

I showered Pierre with chunks of the rancid food I had been forced to eat. He ran screaming from the table like a Jawa on fire.

As I wipe my mouth on the tablecloth, I can only hope that the judges will say that I kept the food in long enough to count as completing the meal.

You are what you eat

Jon looked with an evil grin, "Are we hungry."

"I don't know what are we having?" Yup, I had to ask…

Our third challenge was an eating contest…
Jon smiled broaden: I doubt it; let me introduce to you the chef for this contest. Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm.

The Chef smiled with pride: Hello, wonderful contestants! I have prepared many delicious foods that will be your soon-to-be favorites! You will love the baked pickrat in plankton sauce, chocolate asparagus in horseradish dressing, and the butterscotch-filled cicada shells! How much fun you will have enjoying my specialties! This is just to name a few… Now you get to choose from the buffet table… However you must eat a 4-course meal. So make sure you take the right amount. Once you pick something up you have to take it."

"A four course?" I heard Deadpool ask.

"Yes, appetizer, soup or salad, main dish and desert." I said tragically. Of course I knew because I had to attend débutante classes. I even had to try some bizarre foods from fried tarantulas in Thailand to boiled eels in Turkey


Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm .smiled again, "We also have prepared a variety of beverages."

I began thinking about my débutante courses on how a lady should act at a table and how she is to be proper and not show her disgust with certain foods. However looking at the spread I was wondering how I was going to pull this challenge off.

I decided not to wait to long or the others may grab up the least disgusting of the dishes. I searched for what didn’t look so bad…

First appetizer with an aperitif…

I looked at the plate of roasted … well it was some sort of bug. I passed it up…


"Aww here this actually looks good" I thought as I picked up something

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm chuckled, "You will love those they are boiled pickrat testicles, wrapped in pasta."

He had to tell me didn’t he…
I reached for the aperitif , it was on fire…

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm stood proudly, "Fermented urine of the grak."

I set it on my table and walked back to get my salad or soup…

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm motioned to me, "Here try this bane maggot salad, great for stamina," he whispered, "Especially in bed."

I smiled, "It looks…. Great but I think I will pass and have a soup."

I dipped the soup out, "Ummm there are roaches and flies in this soup."

Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm smiled, "Of course you going to be Gladiators you need protein."

I went and set it on my table and returned for the main dish.. I could see I was going to have a problem already I was loosing my appetite
I looked something that didn’t look to bad as I was reaching AOC walked up to me.

AOC looked at me, "Boy I knew you were tough but wow."

I looked at him, "What do you mean."

"That is some kind of animal brains with another animals salvia as sauce." AOC said

"If you are trying to make me end up disqualified it won't work." I said taking the plate


I returned to my table set the plate down and walking over to get my desert

Finally I made my choice.
Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm said they were not what they looked like so I hope they are not too gross.

I sat and looked at everyone, they had already started… I saw some eating their appetizers and decided not to look at them…

Just then it hit me… "Fred, " I whispered

Fred ran away saying "not on your life."

I then remembered the one Nun.

When we had to take medicine she would do something to make it better… What was that song she would sing…

In ev'ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job's a game


And ev'ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

So I reached for the sugar and sprinkled some on… I said a prayer boy did I say a prayer and I picked up the appropriate fork…

After my desert I smiled as I looked around finished off my coffee that tasted like some monkey ate the coffee bean first. I think Lt. Cmd Onieda mention this coffee once.

I then took my napkin and dabbed my mouth. I rose and bowed at Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm.

"Lovely meal, if you will all excuse me now." I said
Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm bowed to me, "Funny you were the only one to eat the Kuda brains in pigor salvia."
I smiled as I looked at AOC. He shrugged, "I tried to warn you."
I then casually walked away…
Once I was out of sight I ran to the bathroom and well I am glad the next challenge isn't for another week.

Oh god I will never complain about the nun's cooking again.

Xavier reaches for a barf bag

As I gazed down at the plate of rat vomit in front of me, I pondered my options. The chef, Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm, didn’t say that was what he just served me. He called it “baked pickrat in plankton sauce,” but obviously he was lying.

I picked up my spoon and just kind of twirled it around on the table. My powers simply don’t extend to a cast-iron stomach. Taking a half-spoon full, I brought some of the gunk up to my nose. I took the most tentative sniff. Suddenly my nostrils were filled with searing pain. I dropped the spoon.

Perhaps I should just quit, I thought. After all, I am the head of a prestigious school back on Earth. I founded the X-Men for heaven's sake! I don’t need this. Have you seen the opening weekend box office results for the Last Stand? Royalties alone will keep me a very happy man.

I glanced around at the other contestants. Maggie’s face seemed to be an odd shade of blue. Amidala was throwing some kind of tantrum at Jon. Only Vegeta seemed to be enjoying himself. He was almost through his first dish and already reaching for a second plate. Sayians. I bet he’s using some kind of weird power.

Hmm, I wonder if I could use my mental powers to take over my own mind – make me think I’m actually eating chocolate cake or something. Ah, who am I kidding? That’s not going to work.
With a sigh I reached for my spoon again. I dipped it into the goo and forced my trembling hand to bring it to my lips. Just as I was about to attempt ingesting the putrid stuff, a large hand slapped me hard in the back. The spoon went flying.

“Hey!” I heard a vaguely familiar voice call out. “I’ve been wantin’ to talk to you, baldy.”

I turned around in my chair and saw Bone Grinder. “If you don’t mind, I’m kind of in the middle of something here,” I told him.

“Yeah, that’s great. But you see, you and I have some settlin’ up to do.”

“Can’t this wait.”

“Nope. Let me take you back in time a few days. You and I were havin’ a nice chat back at the retirement home. Then I helped you turn on your hoverbike, ‘cause you’re too much of a dunder-head to figure it out for yourself. Sound familiar so far?”

I nodded.

“Now, a normal guy, a friendly guy, a human being . . he would have said ‘thank you.’ But what did you do? You messed with my mind somehow. Then that jerk the Red Bottomed Baboon painted an ‘L’ on my forehead. In permanent ink! And he shaved off my eyebrows!”

“I am truly, humbly and deeply sorry to hear that but I’m afraid I simply must get back to eating this horrible, vile food.”

I pointed at the bowl in front of me and the old gladiator looked down. He lowed his face over it and inhaled sharply. “Hmm,” he said, “baked pickrat in plankton sauce. My favorite! Do you mind?”

I quickly glanced around. Most of the other’s seemed transfixed by their dire fates. “Not at all. Please . . help yourself.”

And with that Bone Grinder picked up the bowl with his hand and, tossing his head back, swallowed the entire contents in one gulp. “Yum! I sure do miss this stuff. Can I get seconds?”

“How about some chocolate asparagus in horseradish dressing?” I asked with a smile that would make Loki proud. “And I have butterscotch-filled cicada shells for desert.”

“You know what kid? I think I may just let by-gones be by-gones.”

Gross me out? No way.

This was Jon's plan. See who had the most willpower, and see who could eat the most. Thankfully, I had the metabolism of a teenager, and could pack down so much food, that would make a big man throw up, just watching me.

As for the sick and wrong food choices? I've eaten worse. This guy is a chef, he was preparing them, even if it was disgusting combinations, it certainly beats eating bantha intestines raw, and sucking on bee butts.

The first bit, was the baked pickrat. Rat meat was tough, and tasted very bitter, plankton was sickly salty, and as a sauce, I can only imagine a little crunchy, when it came out, it I smiled, I dug in. They had left its intestines in and all.

Steady Erifia, deep breath Erifia.

I began to eat it. Together, they were even more miserable then they were apart. But, it was not bad at all... On tatooine once, someone I was spying on tried serving Bantha crap as a delicasy, and I had to eat it. It doesn't get much worse than that.

The choclate asparagus came out, and the horseradish sauce... I gagged... Sweet and nasty... I had to keep it all down... I had to...

I bit into it, I was surprised, it was actually good. I began to eat more and more. The whole plate was gone.

"Mmis mwas mreal mooood."

Cicada shells, like the ones who make noise on the trees on Naboo... They looked like they were filled with peanut butter anways. Honestly, the shells wouldn't taste like much, and the butterscotch would be amazing. I bit into it, and the sweet butterscotch filled my mouth, I smiled. Amazing... Simply amazing...

"This is one of the best desserts I've ever had, Jon. You're very good at picking out dishes."

He then set a cup of mustard tea in front of me, I drank it, and well, it was the worst thing... I wanted to throw up, I took a deep breath, mind over matter... Mind over matter.

"Anything else?"

"You've got to order from the menu."

I looked at the menu, live snake, chilled monkey brains, soup of slave eyes...

"Ooo! That, right there!!!"

He brought it out immeadiatly. It was a plate of live meal worms, covered in coagulated deer blood.

I smiled evily... I looked at the other contestants, and I enjoyed every single bite.

I ate steaks cooked Mos Eisley ((Earth = Pittsburgh style, only slightly sizzled on the outside)) style. Blood everywhere. And Mealworms tasted like buttermilk. I even chewed a little, and showed the others my mouth with the festering bite inside.

I ate it, enjoyed it, and after I was done, I grabbed a cockroach off the bar, and ate it like a dinner mint.

"That was good... So, what's for dessert?"

Starkey had a tear in his eye, "You like?"

"Very much soo, you got anything along the lines of something sweet?"

"Bee insides, broiled in Borg Honey."

"Sounds good."

"I also got Candied Voorpoks."

"I'll take them both. Thanks..."

He had them sent out, and I ate them, they were really good, allbeit the Voorpak were a little hairy... I burped, and my toxic breath melted the plate and silverware.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go lay down after such a good meal,"

Hugs and (you don't want to have my) kisses,
Erifia Apoc

Challenge #3

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

Jon: Good morning contestants, welcome to challenge #3. I hope everyone is hungry.

Vegeta: I could eat.

Magdalena: I don’t know, what are we having?

Jon: Oh, it’s just going to be a friendly little eating contest is all. For this challenge, you will also have a special guest judge, Randy Porkins.

Randy: Yo, wazzup dogs? Ready to eat?

Vegeta: An eating contest...?

Professor X: Sounds delightful. I hope it is something delicious like baked salmon with potatoes.

Jon: I doubt it; let me introduce to you the chef for this contest. Starkey Al-Hvmmmmm.

Starkey: Hello, wonderful contestants! I have prepared many delicious foods that will be your soon-to-be favorites! You will love the baked pickrat in plankton sauce, chocolate asparagus in horseradish dressing, and the butterscotch-filled cicada shells! How much fun you will have enjoying my specialties!

Padme: Oh that sounds so gross!

Gyrobo: Warning! Warning! These combinations of food items do not compute.

Jon: That’s OK, Gyrobo. You’re still eating it.

Gyrobo: Aw nertz.

Captain Picard: Ah, normally I would enjoy this opportunity to learn a new culture, I don’t know if this is my cup of tea.

Starkey: Oh I have delicious mustard tea, too!

Captain Picard: Ugh…

Erifia: Revolting!

Aayla: Disgusting!

AOC: Meh, anything’s better than some of the rations I’ve had.



Last Gladiator Standing was brought to you today by Camp Intergalactic Gladiator. Your kids will have the time of their lives at Camp Intergalactic Gladiator. Guaranteed!

The End of Challenge #2

Contestants, thank you for being here.



Once again, most of you competed very well. Vegeta was the first across the finish line, but an issue has developed with one of the participants.




Everyone took off on his or her hovercycle except for Gaia, when I approached her and asked why she wasn't racing, she said that she had an issue to deal with. A personal issue. I didn't want to pry, but this is a reality show so I was forced to intrude further into her private life.




She said that there were some things at the end of the universe that she needed to tend to and that she had to go right away. I asked her that since it was the end of the universe, couldn't it wait and she replied that it didn't work that way.


She understood that she was forfeiting her right to win, and she signed a waiver and everything. We'll probably still use her image frequently because she is pretty cute and that makes for a good show, but as of now....



Gaia, you are not the Last Gladiator Standing. Goodbye.









Please stay tuned for challenge #3.





Last Gladiator Standing was brought to you in part by Sinewco's Super Impermeable Shark Cage. Have the thrill of your life in Sinewco's Super Impermeable Shark Cage, guaranteed to stop all sharks. Guaranteed.











Guarantee not valid against great white sharks, bull sharks, leopard sharks, dragon sharks, leviathan sharks, fire-breathing sharks, laser sharks, butter sharks, F-20 Tigersharks, bengal sharks, nightmare sharks, sucker sharks, and kitten sharks.

So that's why there are still Barneys.

Since Bulma is leaving later today I decided Blow off a little steam by hunting down That Barney seen in the last challenges and destroy the thing. Well I uncovered some strange take over the galaxy plot using, robot Barneys.

The real thing went extinct with their planet. This madman's plot was to use the terror the Barneys cause all over known space to make everyone surrender to them. I crushed all the robots but one.

This one I was saving special for the Henchman and after his little potion stunt. I damaged it pretty well though. Bulma said she would fix the thing. I guess I did not leave much to repair because here it is.




She programs it to go after the Henchman, I think she may have used some Dalek parts, though. Since after it kicks down HenchMan's' door it says" I will hug and Exterminate you!"

HUGGINATE! HUGGINATE! HUGGINATE!

My wife may have created a monster.

Too many cooks... spoil the...

Well, Vegeta asked me for the remainer of Wolfgang's potions that I had. I noticed a bottle missing and didnt think about it.

He called for buu and had buu take it and put it in Wolverine's beer.

poof

poof

poof

From what buu said Woverine was with some woman that wasn't the woman he has been seeing.
We all sat to eat and Buu walked over.

"Your not eating?" Charles asked me...

"Everytime I see Buu, I loose my appetite" I told him.

I watched as Jon, Goku, Gyro, Vegeta, Buu, Charles, AOC, Captian Picard and Padmé all began to eat...
I also noticed henchmen laughing and not eating...

Just then the cook came out and said, "I think someting is a bit off about the soup."

I looked around the room as henchmen ran out yelling Dental for all!

Oh My!

Vegeta


AOC


Gyro



Buu


Jon


Son Goku


Padmé


Charles


Captian Picard

---

"Henchman!" Vegeta and Goku yells

Last Gladiator Standing

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

Technical Director: .... And cue Jon.

Jon: Good afternoon. I'm here on Fire Island V2 to talk for a few moments with one of the greatest competitors in the Intergalactic Gladiator circles and a true champion. He is none other than the legend himself, Bone Grinder! Mr. Grinder, how's life been treating you?

Bone Grinder: Well, I have to say--

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

Jon: What happened?

Voice from off camera: I don't know.

Technical Director: Just a glitch, we're OK now.

Jon: Uh, alright, here we go. As I was saying, I'm here talking to the legend Bone Grinder and he was right about to tell me about--

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

Jon: What the heck was that?

Technical Director: Don't worry about it, a server just went down. We're on the backup, we're OK.

Jon: Alright, alright. On challenge 2, some of you got to meet one of the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment's greatest legends, Bone Grinder himself. Hey, how does it feel being back in the spotlight once again?

Bone Grinder: Oh it was a real pleasure being able to work like this again. I may be getting on in--

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

Jon: Oh come on! What the hell was that?

Director: Forget it, Jon. Just keep going.

Jon: I'm here with--

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

Jon: Oh for the love of -- That's it, I've had it! This is too [beep]ing much!

Hudson (From off camera): calm down, Jon. Here, have a pina colada.

Jon: Fine. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my trailer!

Bone Grinder: Uh, hello?

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet --

Jon (from off camera: I can't believe that this [beep]'s happening! I mean, what is this, some kind of [bleep]ing high school play or something? Un[beep]ing believable!

Hudson (off camera): I know, I know. Calm down, they'll get this squared away.

Bone Grinder (off camera): Hello?